My initial goals this semester were simple: complete a triathlon, make an A in Network Security, and research, write, and successfully defend my thesis in order to graduate. Apparently this was wildly ambitious, and over the course of the semester things have downgraded. The triathlon, the earliest goal, didn’t happen, for a plethora of reasons. The day before I was supposed to leave, my boss assigned me a new task, due immediately upon my return. That, coupled with six hours of driving (round trip) to get there, and an unfinished costume, made me think that perhaps another year would be better. After all, what fun is doing a triathlon if you aren’t in costume?
So that was one goal down. Truthfully, it was a little bit of a relief–I was sick to death of the bicycling parts of training. I was constantly battling either weather or traffic or both.
Then, Network Security bludgeoned me with a mace. After making a 46% on my midterm exam (worth 20% of my grade), I am going to be delighted if I just pass the damn class.
And now, the thesis. Frankly, I think there is no way in hell that I will get it finished this semester (though my adviser has commanded that I spend all “non-biological time” working on it). I want to finish this semester, I do, I just don’t want to die while doing it. Already I can feel it sapping my will to live. For instance, I had sex last night for the first time in weeks, and I thought, “gee, that was awesome! We should totally do that again soon.” This thought was followed immediately by “THESIS”, at which point I burst into tears (much to my lover’s dismay, the poor dear.) Or, the other day while I was at the gym, I was listening to fun dance music and thought, “I used to have friends. We used to go out and dance and do things! Why do I feel like I don’t have friends anymore?” At which point I realized that I do have friends, I am just not allowed to go out and play with them.
Which is to say, my goals this semester have devolved so far that I will consider the semester a success if I pass Network Security and the erstwhile Mr. Tidwerr graduates. Fortunately, the reading copy of his thesis is due tomorrow, so the hour of his graduation is nigh.
I cannot wait to be done with school.