Conversation: Woodpeckers, Caustic Slobber, and Gutters to Die In

me: I wonder if they have woodpeckers in Scotland
I hear something that sounds like one.
Brian: seems inevitable considering that there are trees
me: I am not sure that “if [trees] then [woodpeckers]” is a tautology
Brian: it is theorized that the reason trees wind up on islands is that birds fly over and poop on them.
me: I just wrote a really good line.
“The blackness of despair has consumed me, opened up its bloody maws and swallowed me whole, extinguishing with its caustic slobber my light, my life, my joy.”
I am particularly proud of “caustic slobber”
Brian: oh damn.
You’re quite the Poe.
me: Yeah, all I’m lacking is a bottle of absinthe and a gutter to die in.

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Conversation: Woodpeckers, Caustic Slobber, and Gutters to Die In

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