Dear Madam Inspector,
I confess to be one such guilty party. To atone for my grievous offenses/sins against the Church of the Holy Receptacle, I have already taken the steps of washing the receptacle in question in holy (soapy) water and shall proceed with the prompt return of said article at no later a date than tomorrow in class when I will have the pleasure of seeing both you, Madam Inspector, as well as Rachel, the Grand Empress of the Shadoan Dominion.
Long Live the Empress and Her Dutiful Madam Inspector!
Your humble and forgetful servant,
Ilya the hungry.