My after-school snack today was an orange. Citrus fruit is so good this time of year, and on a day as dark as today, it is really heartening to me. It’s like a little sunshine on the plate. So I was trying to really experience the orange as I was eating it, to get the maximum enjoyment out of the orb of orange goodness. I had in mind to write a little piece to share with you on the way it tastes like sunshine. I was doing silly things, like holding the sections up to my ear while separating them, just to hear the noise (somewhat like very fine Velcro). I twisted the peel to throw the orange oils into the air. I rubbed the skin encapsulating each section with my fingers and my lips. It was while I was doing that that I realized it felt familiar–it was like human skin! Not skin with hair follicles, or that is exposed to much weathering, but human skin nonetheless. Very fine and soft skin. It hit me, then, that the skin separating orange sections reminded me of the skin on the shaft of a penis. That was when my nice little paragraph, sunshiney and literary, devolved into, “How an Orange is Like a Blowjob”.
Edit 22/Jan/2010 9:27 PM: As I was attempting to fall asleep tonight, I realized that the nice little paragraph could have devolved into another kind of bad entirely, namely, “How an Orange is Like Eating a Baby.”