The damp here is everpresent.
I am so tired of working that I could stab myself in the eye and then run downhill until I inevitably tripped and broke my neck.
Eventually, with computer science, one forgets what not working every moment feels like. And that’s really not so bad, because the work is so highly satisfying when it actually works. There are high points along the way, you know, when the code compiles, when it runs without breaking, when a new technique runs flawlessly. This kind of work does not have the satisfyingness to it. It is just endless hours of meetings, in which we talk about things we can’t prove, and nothing tangible ever gets completed.
I have not discovered anything in my work so far that I didn’t already know. That’s frustrating to me. If we’re supposed to be learning from observing, I would like to actually have learned something, as opposed to merely confirming what I already knew. Come on, world, surprise me already.
I have a meeting tomorrow, followed by a trip to the Tayside Recyclers, followed by the purchasing of a cell phone, followed by going to the a performance by an Australian storyteller who is in town.
Even cooking has lost its joy this week.
However, I have discovered a pretty great replacement for ice cream, since transporting ice cream home from the store here is nigh-on impossible. It’s greek yogurt with a spoonful of heather honey. Heather honey is dark, thick, and luscious. The jar I bought is ever so slightly grainy, giving it a texture like a perfect praline. It is a delightful end to a day.
The webs of veins in my arms become ever more apparent. Come springtime, I shall be completely transparent.